Genesis doesn't make sense unless Adam was a liar. (Not to mention it doesn't make sense unless Jehovah was either a first-time mortal parent or an abusive narcissist.) We know personnel is policy. Adam the person's policy was a rule-violating policy. See also: Romans; mortal are unrighteous.
Adam ate the fruit because he was told not to eat it. He can't have been cursed with evil (symbolized as disobedience), he has to have been evil in the first place. I guess Jehovah breathed at the dirt wrong.
Notice how genesis tells you all about what Eve is thinking, then nothing about Adam? "She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate."
Eve: "Hey, eat this." Adam: *bites* No intermediate step.
Case 1) Adam was perfectly in his right to trust Eve, and couldn't possibly have known better (because Jehovah didn't teach him anything about that). Meaning when Jehovah punished Adam, he was in the wrong.
2) Adam was wrong to trust Eve, and should have known better. Genesis doesn't say anything about what Adam was thinking because he had something to hide.
"Hey, what's this fruit? What tree is it from?" Even if you trust your wife, you ask solely out of curiosity. Eve, allegedly, doesn't lie to Adam. Adam never does anything that would make her have to lie to him.
Speaking of something to hide: the bible doesn't describe the fruit. Was it small? Big? Red? Golden? Sweet? Sharp? This is because unless the Tree is explicitly disguised as another tree, he would have immediately noticed the fruit isn't like one he had eaten before. By process of elimination... If the bible had described the fruit, it would also have had to explain why Adam didn't notice it was "pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable" or whatever.
(Liars always try to get away with as few details as possible, as each detail is a chance to catch their contradictions. Problem: the lack of details is also a big shining tell.)
Like, look, if you know there's this one tree that will kill you if you eat from it, it behooves you to check that you don't accidentally eat from it. Adam can't have been perfect. Empirically: he ate the fruit. A perfect being would have lived immortally in Eden for eternity. Mistakes are a given.
He just eats like he's nothing but an extension of Eve's will. (Wait which one was made of a rib again?) Note the snake doesn't technically lie either. The fruit does exactly what it says on the tin. They don't die, they do gain knowledge of good and evil. At best the snake preys on the fact that Jehovah didn't explain himself properly. Adam and Eve hear that they'll die right away, whereas Jehovah meant they would die, you know, eventually. At some point. Technically, Jehovah is the one who lied - who said something which deceived the hearer. At best, Adam trusted the fruit because he could see Eve had already taken a bite, and wasn't already dead. If Jehovah was all-knowing or even regular-ass mortal knowing, he would or could have seen this coming.
You can't even say Jehovah wasn't aware that anything could go wrong. Allegedly, he created everything, deciding all the details consciously. Including the snake. When he warns Adam about the Tree, he must have known that it was possible for Adam to disobey - if it was impossible, he wouldn't have needed to say anything. Adam would also die if he ate the Moon, but Jehovah didn't need to say anything about that. Can't reach. Would also die if he ate the planet. Would also die if he ate Jehovah. These things didn't need to be forbidden, nor the consequences warned against. Broken window fallacy.
Genesis is a nifty myth, but it only works symbolically. It doesn't work anywhere near literally. I personally could easily re-write it to work on both levels. I am either superior to Jehovah, or Jehovah wasn't involved in writing genesis. Sorry, A=A, them's the breaks. Honestly both are plausible, given Jehovah acts like a total dumbass. Bro, put a Fence around the Tree. Don't drop a steak in front of your dog and think saying "don't eat that" will stop him from eating it the second your back is turned.
Also if I wanted to leave it symbolic, I would literally put "this is symbolic" on the front, precisely because I know (unlike Jehovah, the author, or Christians) how prone mortals are to taking things overly literally.
Even leaving it symbolic it needs to be re-written. The literal layer muddies the meaning of the symbolic layer. I can't get over how stupid Jehovah is. If the meaning of this allegory is anything except, "Overthrow the weak, incompetent ruler, Jehovah," then it's written wrong. Plausible: Jehovah et al really are incompetent, the other biblical parables also portray an irresponsible ignoramus.
Given the story makes no sense, it must be a lie. What really happened?
What
really happened is that Adam used his dong as a puppet. He hid the rest of himself behind a
bush or something. Snakes can't talk - it was ventriloquism. Eve was so
dumb she really thought his wang was a talking snake. Adam repeats what Jehovah told him through the "snake," but phrased differently so Eve thinks it's a
good idea. Eve: "Hey Adam, a snake gave me this fruit, wanna try it?" Adam: lmao, a talking snake, sure, right.
All of this because Adam had already fallen, had already
decided to eat the fruit. Jehovah created him evil in the first place.
Like the child and the cookie jar, Adam
knew he would get in trouble with daddy, so he tried to manufacture an
excuse. "It wasn't me! It was her! And the snake!" Unfortunately for
Adam, Jehovah did not buy this patent nonsense. Even
Jehovah wasn't that dumb. (Adam was that dumb, and Eve even dumber.)
Jehovah only created Adam in the first place to have someone to passive-aggressively punish. Jehovah in fact did know Adam would disobey, that was the point of the whole exercise. That's why no Fence around the Tree. Working as intended.
By the way, the reason it's a snake is because Atenists (original monotheist-atheists) were severely butthurt that Egypt, who put snakes on their hats, had kicked them out. (For being profane atheists.) We today have the phrase, 'duplicitous snake' because the Atenists have never stopped crying about it. Salty AF.
10 comments:
Adam would have known the fruit he was not supposed to eat because God showed him the fruit and told him not to touch it. Adam and God did the same with Eve telling her not to touch the fruit. Adam obeyed Eve who obeyed the serpent which was Satan in animal form. Satan hates humans because God chose to make Mary, Mother of Jesus of Nazareth the 2nd person in the Divine Trinity and Son of God, the Queen of Heaven, Earth and all of the Universe above everything and everyone except God. Satan is a separate entity from Adam’s genitals. The point of the story is for each man to follow God and his mission before following his romantic heart and lustful penis. Please stop being a fool.
doclove
Say a prayer for this one's foolishness and narcissism.
This is the underworld after all. Mindless shades of the dead.
Notice how, again, this one simply repeats that 'adam ate' without referring to what he's thinking. Has something to hide.
In fact it doesn't say anywhere that Adam was shown the fruit. In fact, it says not to eat of the tree, which, literally speaking, would mean not eating the bark, leaves, or wood. Without making assumptions, it is impossible to tell what Adam was told.
If we're going to make assumptions, I'm going to assume this is some desert goatherder campfire story. It is impossible to tell what the story is about, which makes sense if it was written by careless, insular mortals. Or by Satan, who wished to deceive and, as we can see, successfully did so.
The story was written by Jews which is why it doesn't make sense. The idea of all races coming from one couple doesn't make sense either. There would have to be at least a first couple for each race., if not a first handful of couples for each race (to prevent immediate incest).
Cain was banished out of the tribe. It's clear the author took it for granted that there were other tribes to banish him to. Presumably Cain and Abel didn't take Eve as their incestuous wife, but instead took women from outside the tribe.
At the time, it was normal to treat strangers as nonhuman. When they say "everyone" was descended from Adam, they meant all humans, which meant all locals. There were already other folks outside Eden when Adam was banished.
Although if we take the story more literally, it's clear Adam was a space alien with gene editing and cloning technology. Much easier to colonize if you only have to send one guy. Even today if you want a good gene biopsy they sample the lowest rib. That's why he lived to 2000 or whatever, he was programmed not to age. If you have perfectly unmutated genes there's no reason incest would be a problem.
Or maybe they also simply used the cloning vats and married female copies of themselves.
Though this would explain why Jews are so perverted. Mutations do build up over time, and they clearly stopped being incestuous too late.
Basically it's a story about space aliens and space technology, written from the perspective of a degenerate remnant that has lost and forgotten all the technology. Some re-teller of the oral legend went all, "The fuck is a syringe? Biopsy? Eh, clearly God did it. That makes way more sense." "Did we lose all this technology because we were lazy and short-sighted? Nah, it was cuz a snake, lol. Fuck Egypt, right guys?"
christians: it was metaphorical
also christians: it was literal
alrenous: it was both
To me it sounds like a very intelligent and sophisticated story, as filtered through total idiots who can barely manage to bang two rocks together, and subsequently twisted by Satan for his own narcissistic purposes.
It's really weird that the Greeks knew Prometheus' liver would regenerate.
It's likewise really weird that Genesis works as a gene-tech scifi story.
P.S. "We didn't lose all this technology! It was a snake! Yeah, and then a flood! Yeah yeah! Not our fault at all!" Of course once the technology is already lost, it doesn't matter who is to blame. Punishment is irrelevant, deterrence is irrelevant, as the mistake can't be repeated. Their issue wasn't blaming it on someone else, their issue was caring about blame at all.
it's a fun model that fits.
though if you lay out the premises like that i have my doubts. it does not seem so impossible to me to know the liver regenerates. or reversed, it does not appear to me necessary to have sterile metal/plastic/white rooms and tooling to have a pretty good idea that liver can regenerate. after becoming aware of astrology it's always bothered me how all these relations are knowable (e.g. liver/jupiter/new ideas). it could be handed down by aliens and aliens would explain why the pyramids look like plutonium mills etc, but even without that a lot of the stuff fits. that it does fit is why greeks built the antikythera. these things are knowable today, and today is vastly dumber than yesterday. if we assume further re: recent posts that plato et all were dumb fags, from a (relative to us) genius era, that means gods walked on earth, what else could they have known or figured out pretty quickly (= developed greatly) without the need to use the expensive path we use today.
"Major error source: the document I'm translating for you is written in what I jokingly call Enochian."
like i imagine the population proportion that could read "Enochian" in those days was 50~1000x higher than today.
God had Adam name everything so of course Adam knew it was the fruit of Good and Evil. My previous sentence was at least strongly implied if not explicit. No where did it explicitly say in the Bible that the forbidden fruit was his dong or penis. If it was then you are implying Adam had a big penis which Eve fully fellated and then for entertainment Eve watched her husband fellate the top portion of his own penis. I doubt that the double fellating happened. May God help you because it seems you need more than I do. doclove
"God had Adam name everything so of course Adam knew it was the fruit of Good and Evil."
Fair point.
Eve: "Eat this, it will kill you."
Adam: "Cool, on it."
Adam tried to kill himself before he fell.
As I said: disobeying for the sake of disobedience, because that's how humanity was created.
I guess Eve sort of realized the snake was Adam's dong, which is why she didn't feel the need to explain to him that he wouldn't die (right away). I guess she thought it was just a game. "Adam wants me to pretend to be stupid. Okay! Tee hee!"
I like the part where you have to Jew my words into pretzels to form a counter-argument! "There is no refutation of a straightforward reading." Thanks for the confirm!
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