Samus is an autogynephile. He's a 40-year-old man, probably autistic, except [it's the future] so gender-reassignment surgery actually gives you a womb.
If you've been passive-aggressive, then you're more feminine than Samus is.
(My favourite is Metroid Prime 1. I just wish it had a hard mode, instead of a take-longer mode.)
It's really this simple: if you can't tell she's a gril while still wearing the suit, she's not a girl. The "reveal" comes off as a surprise because there's no way you could have known.
What part of Samus says female to you?
Archaeology?
Obsessively scanning non-person objects?
Violently hunting down space pirates, killing them at the drop of a hat?
Do the missiles have a curvy flight path I'm not aware of?
Is there something particularly empathetic about shooting through walls?
Total isolation? The absolute introversion?
Keeping her mouth shut so tightly her voice doesn't give it away?
Samus is a man. He's just drawn with a girl's body, because why not? It's prettier. Mario's just a drawing too, he might as well have had tits instead of a moustache. Peach can be a lesbian, it'll be progressive.
P.S. Traps. Someone draws a girl, and then they draw a dick on the girl because they hate themselves. If you like traps because you like cute girls, just draw a girl. If you like traps because you're gay, just draw a dude. There's no excuse for this φαγγωτρυ.
P.P.S. A lot of anime heroines are just men drawn as hot chicks, with a bit of lace around the edges so he/she/it doesn't completely come off as one of the boys. Unlike Samus, who totally does. If she reacts to witnessing violence by drawing her sword, that's a dude, bro. You can tell for sure because they never shit-test. I don't see a problem with this as long as you keep the fact it's escapism in mind. Girls aren't like that IRL for good reasons.
P.P.P.S. Metroids are absolutely fantastic metaphors for demonic spiritual parasites. Letting Mother Brain kill the last real one low-key ruined the series, which was probably the intent. Samus would have been fine if you'd just run off to lick your wounds, retard. Or even if you had a) finished killing MB or b) not hesitated. Swoop through the wall so MB has time to wind up? Yeah. Great work moron. It's not real self-sacrifice if you die for no reason. Anyway self-sacrifice is γαυ.
P.P.P.P.S. So you can dodge every point of damage in Metroid Prime 1. This plays poorly with the fact that if you're good at exploration Samus ends up with hundreds and hundreds of health. One or the other, guys. This is game design 101. Imagine you're playing DQ4 except Ragnar can get armour so good all damage is reduced to 0. Frankly this is insultingly easy. Then we have a "hard" mode where the enemies have twice as much health. It doesn't matter! They still can't kill you, or even look threatening! It would genuinely make sense to have criminal penalties for game design that fucked up.
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