Neurology by M$

 The brain comes pre-loaded with a bunch of stuff. Most of it is bloatware, spyware, and similar trash. 

 All those facial expressions. What do they accomplish? They let traitors read your next move. Right. Thanks. Spyware.

 There's the jumping-to-conclusions model, which reliably furnishes the user with inaccurate but unquestionable assessments of the current situation, allowing manipulators to lead the user off cliffs at will.

 There's the social modules, where they fantasize that various meaningless signals are meaningful, so the user can build new hallucinations on top of the old hallucinations, providing endless simulacra to get lost in.

 The superstitions module, which promiscuously gathers new habits and not only has no error-checking, but violently opposes edits, like a bureaucracy.  

 There's morality, which willfully confuses [what me and my family does] for Universal Truth. It's not even the right category...

 There's a logical CPU, but it has to be vigorously crank-started, and regularly stalls.  

 But don't worry, the Envy perception filter is almost completely flawless. Simply edited out of all conscious cognition.

 These solecisms are merely the ones that are easy to describe. I think my favourite are the social needs and physical exercise modules, which are tuned for avoiding them as much as possible.

 Hard to blame microsoft et al for their sewage operating systems when the brain's programming is even worse.