Monday, September 30, 2024

Speak of Your Friend's Flaws, But Only Privately

 Do acknowledge the flaws of your friend. Pull him aside first. Don't broadcast it.

 A meme said pythagoras said these things, but I can't find any credible evidence to back that up. 

 Perhaps he would have noticed if he had eaten more meat. 


 It seems revenge, as usual, is sour. Everyone of good character already knows this, meaning all the criticism you receive in public is born of bad character. I.e. don't post on twitter. If you genuinely screw up, those of good character won't tell you. Won't, unless they already have a private communication channel to you. 

 P.S. Don't nag. Once the flaw is openly acknowledged, he knows. There's no need to repeat it. 


 In particular, if you bring up the topic of your flaws to a friend and he denies it, he's a coward at best. Not a cooperator. 

 If you bring up someone's flaws in private, and don't nag, then he beefs with you about it, he's broken the friendship. Exited the valid domain of this logic. Probably a narcissist. 


 Generally, shouldn't criticize your enemies in public either. Machiavelli's dictum. Either kill them outright or leave it alone. Good fences transmute bad neighbours into good neighbours - i.e. use the block function.
 This is why I prefer my blog &c to be unpopular. I want to hold up critical examples, but I don't want it to count as being broadcast. Ideally, the target should never find out, nor should anyone who associates with them, rendering it socially meaningless. Leaving only the logic. 

 I have been very poor at living up to either of these ideals. I have foolishly mimicked those of bad character. Should have thought of this earlier, whoops. Not exactly rocket science.

 Naturally, nobody has ever pointed this flaw out to me. 


 P.P.S. What Pythagoras did say: it was known 2500 years ago that posting on twitter is retarded. https://www.azquotes.com/picture-quotes/quote-it-is-better-to-be-silent-than-to-dispute-with-the-ignorant-pythagoras-106-0-055.jpg

1 comment:

jason said...

Rebuke not a fool les you be like him. But also rebuke a fool lest he be wise in his own conceit. But even after being rebuked he'll still be wise in his own conceit because he is a fool. Reprove the righteous and he accepts it because he is righteous so it applies to someone else and he agrees with your assement of that other guy. Reprove the wicked and he gets violent because he knows it applies to him.