Fundamental Flaw of All Japanese Translators

 In English, you would say it directly. The Japanese refuse to say it directly, and are thus incapable of translating it into English. The Japanese are full-blooded Orientals and can't not conform to their local norms. Japanese translators are forced to stop at a Frankenstein pidgin which is a horrible desecration of both Japanese and English. 

 Perhaps it's best to not even mention the many fan translators who are fluent in neither English nor Japanese, but the Japanese are so crippled it's only a marginal problem.