Cawfie

Coffee is basically fake, which means it suits Americans to a T.
It smells like it should taste heavenly. In fact it tastes like burnt dirt.
Normal person: "Going back to drinking tea."
American: "Ah yes, perfect. This is my spirit beverage." 

Bonus round: Americans put so much sugar and dairy in the coffee it barely tastes like coffee anymore, but still say they're drinking coffee. If you ask them, they prefer dark roast. It wasn't fake enough so they put another layer on top.

Double bonus round: cleanup of tea machine = dump tea into bin; cleanup of coffee machine involves disassembly and vinegar soaks and...