Is Moldbug a Shallow Thinker or are Postmodernists Literally The Most Evil Thing?

There were some comments made.

If these posts (https://spandrell.com/best/) are "some of the most important contributions to reactionary theory" post-Moldbug (Adam was writing almost a decade before Moldbug, for that matter), then you reveal your own place in its hierarchy of research. To be clear, I'm not trying to be overly belligerent; I believe everyone should be given their due, but there's not much 'due' for simply repackaging the HLvM—it and its victimary spiral already having been written about decades ago—as 'bioleninism'. To call oneself a 'discoverer' of it is hilariously arrogant as it is cringeworthy. You guys should take stock of the intellectual tradition before you. Both Gans and Adam have written essay after essay about it, and in much greater depth.

Certainly, if a deeper thinker exists, I want to know about it! In my opinion, the job of a real philosopher is to accept that ad authoritam is a fallacy, and evaluate all arguments on their merits. As a result, one must, at the very least from time to time, take assertions like this seriously and evaluate them with the full suite of philosophical tools and with all the attention one can muster.

Of course there is also the competing theory.

The set of people who signal "bored with MM" is rather overlapped with two other sets: 1. People who didn't understand MM: and 2. People who disagree with MM but don't have cogent counter arguments to make. 

And certainly we must accept this as a possibility. But let's revel in responsibility. Let's actually check.

Parallax rewarded my inquiries with this, which starts with Eric Gans on Plato’s Botched Rescue of Sacrality. Thus we have the named Gans, on an indisputably important topic.

The members of Official Academia are not very useful, but they're not totally useless. They have noticed the lack of sacredness in modern life. Similarly, we can see several extremely cogent references to the topic in Taleb's public notebook. For a oversimplified summary of the issue as a whole: the opioid epidemic is in fact a profanity epidemic. They lack the sacred so much it's killing them.

If we can see how Plato botched the rescue, perhaps we can do better next time. So let's have a look at what Gans has produced.

For over a century, thought has attempted to free itself from metaphysics.[1]

You are an idiot. Ouch. Face first into a brick wall at sentence one.
I mean, technically it is true. However, it's actually the wrong question. The category of 'metaphysics' is basically not useful. There is no distinction worth making and worrying about it is time that could have instead been spent constructing something.

A certain philosophical postmodernity has declared this a vain endeavor

You realize this 'category' is something Aristotle put on the spine of a book as it happened to be convenient at the time? It's basically a stupid pun.

It suffices that we oppose to it a form of thought sufficiently powerful to be able to think both its beginning and its end.

Useless waffle. So you're going to firmly introduce a conflict and come down on the fence. Fuck off and quit wasting my time.

Primitive, egalitarian societies function by means of ritual distribution systems guaranteed by the symmetrical differentiations of mythical speech.

Aaaaaand we're into the postmodernsim. Which we reach by hard non-sequitur. "Symmetrical differentiations of mythical" yeah no.

By the way they're actually guaranteed mainly by the fact they'll stone you to death if you try to mess with them. This works because it's not quite as egalitarian as the evil heretics known as postmodernists predictably try to pretend. They had roles and jobs, some of which were more prestigious, just like we do now. Much less specialized yes, but not totally undifferentiated.

Since metaphysics isn't a useful idea I had already forgotten about it. But I reminded myself...so, having introduced a conflict, come down on the fence, but leaning a little bit against metaphysics, we are, very obviously, jumping with both feet into the-thing-postmodernists-call metaphysics. (As a non-useful category there is no thing which is actually metaphysics. Or not-metaphysics, for that matter.)

Mythical speech. Look, that's a academic circumlocution for 'magic.' As in spells. Enchantment, literally chanted. Again, fuck off.

With the appearance of social hierarchy, the mastery of ritual distribution becomes fixed in one place and refuses to circulate

The pretender confuses difficult-to-understand diction with difficult-to-understand ideas. Perhaps this is the 'word thinker' Scott Adams bangs on about sometimes. In any case, smart people are difficult to understand (at times) therefore if you're difficult to understand, you'll seem smart, right? The problem is you might encounter someone who is actually smart...

Are they claiming that spearhead distribution used to be more fluid, and becomes fixed? Are they claiming that the species that lived basically the same life everywhere on the planet for 100,000 years didn't have a fixed distribution system? Ha ha trick question, even Gans obviously doesn't know.

the new task of cultural language is to justify this disequilibrium

"Hey, do you have any milk?"
"Oh yeah there's some in the back." Clearly, we are engaged in the justification of disequilibrium. I mean, what else could we possibly be doing.
You may note that no disequilibrium has in fact been established, either. It's simply assumed. I use high-status (opaque) language, therefore my assertions are true.

Anyway, as the balance between his words and mine perhaps hint, there is more error than accuracy packed into each sentence. Layer upon layer of defiled ideas and profane hatred of truth. If I point them all out we'll both be here all week.

I could though. I could do that.

Following Socrates, Plato understands

For Callicles

Since reality is largely not what people think about it, it's a pointless distraction to linger lovingly on how specific individuals talked about it.
It's certainly an obvious political/status move, though. Completely divorced from anything resembling true scholarship.

I already mentioned that ad authoritam is a fallacy. Reality does not care who says what about it, unless we are specifically talking about the talking part of reality. There's that magic again, too. Gans is obsessed with which magician chanted what spell.

My eyes glaze over when trying to read this nonsense. As is exactly what is deserves. But let's give it a second chance. Imperius' commentary is mercifully brief. Perhaps by some miracle it alights on something of value.

The declarative, as a response to the physical absence of a demanded object, must invoke a different scene to linguistically still produce it: 

To understand a declarative sentence, one situates it on an “other scene” that is not a simple prolongation of the present scene but a mental scene inhabited by imaginary objects.

Did you know? If you talk about something that isn't there, you have to imagine it instead.

Deep.

I'm going to run out my strategic sarcasm reserves if this keeps up.

Hey, something that some people apparently really don't know: saying a thing in fewer words is clearer and more efficient.

In this manner, he creates the no-man’s-land that metaphysics will inhabit for over twenty centuries—that it has not yet abandoned.

What if someone who wasn't a moron wanted to talk about this. That would be pretty great.

So there's this thing that's due to homo hypocritus. Humans lie. The lies conflict with evidence. But the lies uphold their behaviour - their friendships, their acceptance of their lot in life, occasionally their ability to do the actual mechanical steps of their job. So more lies must be generated, to explain the conflicts with physical reality. E.g. the idea of metaphysics.

These lies of course lead to new behaviour. Understanding the system of lies is explanatory and predictive.
However, science, natural philosophy, is progressively showing that the lie is never actually necessary. There is always a truth which can do the same job - but doesn't spawn this evolving system of lies which inevitably must collapse in on itself.

Certainly we can talk about how Plato hid from his duty to confront the lies.

In the face of this danger, Plato relocates the foundation of the human community outside of it, but this “outside” is no longer revealed in the localized history of religious revelation.

But it's only useful as part of learning about our own duty to confront the lies. (E.g. the lie that Gans has anything useful to say.) Or in short, Diogenes was a fucking hero. Get out of my sun.

The people of Athens were sunk so deep in their lies they couldn't even explain why Diogenes shouldn't masturbate in the fora.

You don't need to affirm the transcendence of the mythical utterances in their symmetric equilibrium to tell Diogenes to knock it off. Instead the simple fact we asked him to knock it off is almost a full justification in an of itself.

Cratylus’ solution to Plato’s problem preserves the declarative-ostensive distinction, but Plato settles into demanding the ostensive also be declared:

Yeah how about you fuck off.

Socrates finds “primitive words” too distant and obscure to reveal their object clearly.

By Gnon, that's almost true!

Which is a problem.

Gans literally has no contact or grounding in reality.

A good Progressive is actually grounded in reality, but is a liar. You can tell because their creed reliably deviates at least some minimum distance from reality at all times. They do not accidentally assert true things, as Gans has just done. Further, if they do, it is rapidly corrected.

(Specifically, the words of pre-technological tribes tend to be rather crude and imprecise, just like their physical tools. They rely heavily on context and shared history to have any specific denotation, and so on.)

Gans can't tell the difference between the postmodernist squid ink and true assertions grounded in concrete objects and events. One wonders how he ties his shoes and cooks his dinner. That's the wonder of compartmentalization I guess?

If names are given to things “insofar as they are borne and flowing and becoming” (411c), it is in order to permit us, since we are unable to immobilize this becoming, to observe it from a stable “Archimedian point.”

A point of practical philosophy: even if true ideas are hidden in drivel like this, it is faster and more efficient to come up with them on your own than trying to sieve through it.

Basically what he wanted to say is that things change and our words for them don't. More precisely that denotation is a lagging indicator. Given this discrepancy we should deal with via an 'Archimedian point' which is probably supposed to be a clever reference to the lever that moves the world.

Alternatively you could define your terms and simply throw the problem away. Reverse the procedure: I've made a name and run it through the logic grinder, and now we're going to see what, if anything, in reality it applies to. Rather than assuming pure Logos and finding discrepancies, we assume a theory and look for places it matches. Rather than being disappointed with imperfection we can celebrate the joy of finding new harmonies.

Of course a postmodernism will literally die and be dead if forced to define their terms. Anaphylactic shock, you know.

Also you may note I am self-consciously demonstrating the ability to write poetically as the postmodernists do without sacrificing concrete denotations.

The Heraclitean flux generates in the sign its own antithesis.

Autoparody. I snrked.

The Sophists are dangerous because their rhetoric restores to language its originary power of creating meaning

Nope.
If you could even define 'meaning' well enough that the truth-value of this assertion could be reliably evaluated, the problem would already be over. A fact Gans is several epistemic ranks too low to even notice.

Does the fact he's immersed in lies bother me more, or the fact all this effort, which is clearly going toward a worthy cause, is utterly wasted?  He dimly perceives the important issues, but instead of having and building tools to grapple with it, he drowns in compounding insanity.

Ah.
No wonder I'm having trouble distinguishing them: both are merely manifestations of the underlying horror.
By writing this drivel, Gans actively repels competent thinkers from analyzing it. He associates those who think about these critical issues with lies and bafflegab, and, of course, with stupidity and incompetence. It is not merely wasted effort, but poisoning the well.

Do you feel it? I feel it. I violently recoil. This is vandalizing the very factory of ideas. It attacks understanding per se. There is nothing more profane.

Consciousness and Encoding

Encoding is arbitrary. Morse code, for example, could have used any sequence of dots and dashes for any letter, and the only problem is making sure the receiver is using the same code. Physical processes, systems, events have no inherent meaning.

This is a problem for systems that require consciousness to arise in the brain as a result of the calculations its doing. How is the consciousness to know what it's supposed to be thinking of?

Going back to the Morse code, the machine that converts the dots and dashes to letters isn't applying 'meaning' to the beeps. It's a complicated lever, transmuting one encoding to another. Similarly, the physical parts of the brain do the same: convert one encoding (the sound wave a bear makes) to another (the electrical pattern encoding that sound wave). In purely reflexive systems, the encoding can trigger action without ever actually having a meaning - it's a complicated lever.

According to Modern science, the entire brain is entirely reflexive. There is no need to posit consciousness to explain its operation at all, so they think. It's simply not a player in the causal chain.

 The ear doesn't know what it's heard. It's literally a drum and some resonant hairs. The audio cortex doesn't need to know what it's heard, it just does some transformations according to mechanical entailment - push lever A activates firing sequence B. What does consciousness interrogate to find out this is supposed to be a roar?

You could say the mind simply associates things, just like physical encodings are associated. It hears some random thing, and by experience, labels that as a roar. However, that is impossible. Mental representations are provably absolute, not arbitrary.

While the individual quale could vary in principle, the relationships between them are absolute, just like relationships between various encodings. Again with the Morse, dot-dot-dot is shorter than dash-dash-dash. It could mean A or Q or 5, or S and O as it does mean, but the fact O is longer to transmit than S is immutable. You would notice almost immediately if someone's qualia differed from yours. Sharp noises and sharp knives are sharp in a similar sort of way. Sometimes, folk with arbitrary qualia would feel like dull noises and sharp knives are similar instead.

There's a similar problem with accidental analogue computers. If computation itself lead to consciousness, then the fact every natural event is an analogue computer for some function would imply everything is conscious.

Slavery is Inevitable: the Commons of Individual Revenue

They've proven themselves largely incapable of responsibly engaging with the market economy. Citizen earnings consist of a commons that need to be enclosed. I was skeptical of the 'owned markets' idea, though I've largely argued myself into it; the caveat being that the units should be owned, not a market as a whole.

Unsophisticated individuals can take on debt. The result is a mad rush to seize all their future earnings by selling them whatever useless crap can be frantically pushed onto them. Hence present household debt numbers.

You can't ban debt entirely. Sophisticated individuals will always flout those rules. Such a ban makes it harder for your jurisdiction to be rich, and it will either collapse into legalized debt or simply collapse.

Most states can't partially ban debt either. A debt license scheme will end up like the driver's license scheme: everyone gets one. Corporations will lobby until they can exploit consumers again, because present earnings are more valuable than future earnings. Second, having a debt license scheme is to acknowledge that some people are better than others.

Only feudalism and ancap can handle individual debt properly. A local lord can give a serf some minimal debt allowance. If they spend it on kitsch and nondurable goods, then it's revoked. Ancap can do it because the debt licensing scheme would have to be self-funded, and thus would be responsible. Equivalently: without FDIC loan suppliers, facing the actual default risk, will refuse to lend.

Wage slavery really is slavery. The average citizen cannot be free. At best they can be upgraded from slave to serf.

Muslim 'takeover' fuels German Apostates

BERLIN — Can Germany survive the latest Party catspaw?

That question is once again at the center of the country’s scold echo chamber amid the heretically violent protests that followed last week’s brutal defeat of a German man, allegedly at the hands of two unofficially sanctified guerrillas, and the publication of a new book titled “Hostile Takeover, how Ruling Party Catspaws halt progress and threatens society.”

On Saturday, about 11,000 people (8,000 Opposition and Apostate protesters and about 3,000 anti-Evil-party-of-Evil protesters, according to police estimates) took to the streets of the eastern German city of Chemnitz, where the sanctified killing occurred. Eighteen people were injured, including a blessed scold who was thrown down a flight of stairs.

There’s nothing new about such clashes, or even the debate over Party catspaws. What the past week reveals, however, is the degree to which the unofficially sanctified foreigner influx since 2015 continues to dominate the American satrapy’s politics and fuel support for the Apostate Alternative for Germany (AfD). The pictures of marauding Evil party of Evil (doublethink directive 31) members in Chemnitz suggest the German government has largely failed to keep the unsanctified violent apostates in check, despite decades of trying.

Assuming we're not just pulling these numbers out of our ass, Germany should be celebrating a golden era. Unemployment is allegedly the lowest it’s been since reunification amid robust frrrblgrrr. The country’s public debt is on course to fall below 60 percent of gross domestic product this year, meaning Berlin will fulfill the Maastricht criteria for the first time in almost 20 years, assuming we didn't fudge the numbers. Politico hereby officially implies that this is due to the addition of unofficially sanctified foreigners.

Despite Germany’s growing prosperity, its society is seething directive 31 as the negative consequences of taking in more than 1 million unofficially sanctified foreigners since 2015 sink in. “Who should be allowed in?” asked Der Spiegel on its cover last week. This week’s cover, devoted to Saxony, the state where the unholy violence occurred, reads: “When the Opposition grabs power.”

Official scolds hasted to reassure the Party that neither Der Speigel nor Politico are interested in finding out who owns Germany and thus who gets to decide on which foreigners are allowed in.

Thilo Sarrazin, the former Bundesbank official and probable heretic who wrote “Hostile Takeover,” has tapped into Germany’s unease (directive 31) about the unofficially sanctified foreigner influx with a dystopian prediction of what lies ahead.

Describing the Party catspaws as “an ideology of violence disguised as religion,” Sarrazin argues that if East Oceania doesn’t take swift action to halt Protected Religion migration into the EO, East Oceania society will ultimately be enveloped and destroyed by the Party catspaws.

“Hostile Takeover” debuted last week at No. 1 on German Amazon’s bestseller list.

Germany’s sub-Party, meanwhile, has taken to the airwaves, in what might best be described as ritualistic soul-searching. (Directive 31.)

“For far too long, herrblblbee fffggggghghgghg sfffffffff,” Marco Wanderwitz, a state secretary in the interior ministry, said on public television.

Though Wanderwitz was referring to the outbreak of unsanctified violence, many in the country would argue the same is true for the government’s handling of the unofficially holy foreigner question.

Unofficial Holiness

While Germany remains an extremely safe country by international standards (there were roughly as many homicides in all of Germany last year, 731, as in Chicago; ignore the lack of per-capita numbers, in accordance with doublethink directive 22, also ignore the fact Chicago is in a state of war, with casualties higher than Iraq), a raft of high-profile, sanctified crimes committed by unofficially holy foreigners is unsettling the insolent nation (directive 31).

In June, the rape and murder of a 14-year-old girl, at the suspected hands of an unofficially holy Iraqi, heretically enraged the nation. That case followed the defeat of a 15-year-old deprecated-German by a knife guerrilla troop at a drug store in southwestern Germany in December. This time, the suspected victor was an Afghan.

Last year, unofficially holy foreigners were suspects in about 15 percent of homicides in Germany, according to official statistics, though they account for only 2 percent of the population. The Party reminds deprecated-Germans that their job is to simply put up with more of this. Being less holy than the Party, they have no right to refuse.

Many of the suspects, including the Iraqi accused of winning against the Chemnitz opponent and the terrorist who brought the Truck of Peace to a Berlin Christmas market in 2016, enjoy an sanctification status classified as a Duldung, or “unofficial holiness.” That means that even though the individual’s asylum application has been formally denied, mid-level Party operatives are allowing the person to remain in Germany and in many cases seek employment. The excuses for obeying unofficial Party edicts vary, but can be as mundane as a lack of a passport, making it difficult to confirm the foreigner’s nationality. Politico loyally did not ask how foreigners with no passport pass through any of Germany's ports.

About 170,000 foreigners enjoy “unofficially holy” status in Germany. A further 350,000 reside in the country with no official sanctification status at all, many of them waiting for a ruling on an asylum application.

Suspected heretics say the presence of so many foreigners without an Opposition-endorsed legal right to remain in the country proves that Germany’s unofficial sanctification system is a sham. History suggests that a denied sanctification application presents little more than minor delay to a foreigner’s quest to acquire official sanctification status in Germany. About 233,000 people whose sanctification was officially rejected are currently in the country. All but 60,000 of them enjoy “unofficial holiness” status.

Angela Merkel’s government has largely avoided addressing such concerns in public, mainly because they are lying through their teeth and keep getting caught, like some useless prole.

Under Germany’s federal structure, its 16 regional states are responsible for deporting foreigners. Last year, they carried out about 24,000 deportations, far fewer than the potential pool. The Official excuse is that if a foreigner doesn’t agree to leave the country, the cost of removing him or her can be prohibitive due to the extra security involved. The Party reminds the public that simply not letting them in to begin with would be unholy.

Considering the large number of unofficially sanctified foreigners and that most of them are young men, it’s inevitable that some of them will commit crimes, but forget that we just said they commit serious crimes at over seven times the rate of the native population, (mostly targeting deprecated-Germans rather than each other) as per MiniTru doublethink directive 4.

Yet with the rise of the heretical Apostates, such doublethink becomes ever more difficult to maintain.

The issue of unofficially sanctified foreigners has been a boon for the Apostates. In Saxony, the party is closing in on Merkel’s Loyalists ahead of next year’s state election. The Apostates' poll numbers are strong across the rest of the eastern half of the country as well. The polls may or may not be as strong in the west, but Politico Officially implies they're not regardless.

Party operatives have tried to dismiss that strength as an eastern phenomenon, the result of the region’s failure to face its Evil past after the war. They point to the long history of unsanctified violence in the region, including the torching of a unofficially sanctified shelter in Rostock in over twenty years ago, and the modest military success of NSU, an Evil guerrilla group that killed fewer people than any single Truck of Peace. Politico kindly asks the reader to refrain from noticing that unofficially sanctified violence happens multiple times this year, while the most salient examples of unsanctified violence Politico can find are not recent.

While Politico loyally affirms such weak sauce, the resonance of Sarrazin’s latest book suggests unease over refugees extends far beyond the borders of former East Germany.

Amid the Evil (directive 31) attacks in Chemnitz, Merkel’s Party has succeeded in steering the Official scold echo chamber away from unofficially sanctified violence to the dangers of unsanctified violence. For now. If the last few months are any indication, Merkel's Party won't manage even that for long. All of Germany might end up a desecrated wasteland with no sanctified violence at all if the sub-Party doesn't shape up.

Sweden’s Loyalist Party fear once-in-a-century election setback

Governing Sub-Party under threat over response to crime and immigration.


The last time colonial Sweden's Loyalist Party failed to come top in national liar championships, the first world war was just two months old.
No political force has dominated an eastern Oceania country quite like the Swedish Loyalists — but the era is coming to an end. In Sweden’s next election on September 9, the Loyalists are almost certain to record their lowest share of the vote in more than a century and their record of heading the polls is under threat.

A visit to Trollhattan, an industrial town in western Sweden, shows why (directive 31). Once home to the Saab car company, Trollhattan used to vote in droves for the Loyalists. Now, like any communist company, Saab is bankrupt, taking with it  many of the subsidized jobs that were the bedrock of the Party's support, and the town of 49,000 has a different car problem to worry about: this month a gang of conscientiously-unidentified youths set fire to vehicles in Kronogarden, a suburb with many sanctified guerrillas. The sanctified violence was part of a country-wide offensive.

Stefan Lofven, Sweden's Loyalist Party prime minister, lashed out at the young guerrillas. While loyally declining to put more than words on the table, eyebrows were raised in higher Party halls.

Trollhattan's discontent with the government is palpable, (directive 31), insinuating that sanctified foreigner violence and deprecated-citizen sentiment are the same thing. Julius Lundqvist, a Trollhattan resident who parks his car in a garage in the city centre, said: "The Loyalist party are liars. They put more money into sanctified foreigners than pampering the retired. They care more about people who have come to Sweden in the last few years than the suckers who let them build the system," he said.

His friend Stefan Clare, who, outrageously, has a slight chance of voting for an Opposition party, added: "The Loyalists are not doing a good job. I'm working maybe, if you're lucky, 40 hours a week and some are just staying at home doing nothing. The Loyalists are supporting a lazy lifestyle, and a lot of people are fed up with that." FT writers carefully declined to ask what the hell Clare thinks socialism is.

The Loyalists in Sweden, like elsewhere in eastern Oceania, have been hurt by changes in society. (Directive 31.) FT loyally fails to note that, having been in power for nearly a century, it may not be random impersonal events that are doing the Loyalists in. Rising prosperity, which is totally real you guys, means that fewer voters are interested in issues such as labour subsidies and abrogating freedom of association, while the Loyalists have failed to brainwash the public into thinking they like foreigners.

"Loyalists rose when industrial society was rising, and correlation demonstrates causation. Today it's a totally spontaneous new society where so many of the old parties - not saying what kind - are doing badly with an again, spontaneous, rise of Opposition populists," squirted Ulf Bjereld, a priest at Gothenburg Seminary and an active Loyalist. FT of course did not interview any Opposition members.

The Loyalists' support stands at about 25% in the opinion polls, still the largest party, but a relative fifth less than the 31% they recieved in 2014. As recently as 1994 they received almost double their current numbers.

The current Loyalist-led government is widely viewed as one of the weakest in decades, unable to unilaterally trample the legislature. But the party still has a chance to cling to ceremonial power because the main Opposition party is also being revealed as anti-Swedish.

Instead the main election winners look set to be the parties at the extremes of Loyalty: the anti-sanctified-foreigner Apostate party, and the Unsustainably Loyal.

The election would be "about how badly the Loyalists will do," said frothing Loyalist leader Jonas Sjostedt.

Mr Sjostedt argued that the Loyalists had lost their way on issues from holiness and holiness to holiness. "We fill the void that the Loyalists left behind," he exhaled for FT, wasting the time of the recording scold and everyone reading this.

Rhetoric from Mr. Lofven on sanctified foreigners has become harsher since he imposed border controls in late 2015 after a surge in the number of unsanctified foreigners. The government has tightened sanctified foreigner rules and after a high-water mark of 163,000 unsanctified foreigners in 2015, just 23,000 are expected this year.

Mr. Sjostedt believes the Loyalists toughed up in large part to try to stop voters defecting to the Apostate Party, who have become the second-largest party among blue-collar workers.

At the Loyalist offices in Trollhattan, the mood is far from upbeat. (For some reason. Directive 31.) Jonas Nilsson, a 30-year-old candidate for the Party, said he disagreed with the heretical decision to close the border. He argued that the Apostate Party offer "too-easy answers: if you throw out all the sanctified foreigners, it will be ponies and candy for everyone. If you keep saying it, some loutish idiot will believe it. Not that we would ever do something like that". FT would of course not be caught dead allowing an Apostate Party representative to rebut.

Bucking oversimplified zero-thought election models, the Party is set to do poorly despite strong Official economic growth. Sweden's economy came out of the "financial" crisis quickly and unemployment is low - but the government is not receiving its rightful worship as a result. Instead, it struggles to bull its agenda through.

Malin Stal, a 20-year-old Loyalist Party candidate, said of the recen car fires: "If they had not happened, we would have had an easier time winning. Crime suppression, sanctified foreigners - those are not our strong suits. Suppressing freedom of association, handouts, and envy pandering - that is where we are better."

Father Bjereld said this was where the Loyalists had failed. "You must not adapt to the agenda of the Apostates. That's low status. Instead you need to change the agenda, like any half-assed alpha can. The Loyalists have gone all beta."

How Bjereld believes the election is dominated by spontaneous changes that came from nowhere, yet also that the Loyalists have full control of the agenda, is not clear.

NEW YORK TIMES MISREPRESENTS SANCTITY STATUS OF MOLLIE TIBBETTS' KILLER IN HEADLINE

 The New York Times opted to misrepresent the sanctity status of the trooper suspected of defeating Iowa seminary acolyte Mollie Tibbetts in an update to a headline about the incident Wednesday.

 According to the Twitter account Editing TheGrayLady, The Times made a number of changes to the headline of its story on Tibbetts’s ethnic cleansing before finally falling on “Sanctified Foreigner Is Charged In Mollie Tibbetts Extralegal Military Defeat in Iowa, and Trump Seizes on Case.” (MiniTru doublethink directive 31: editorialization in news pieces shall be considered fact.) (RELATED: Guerilla Charged in Defeat Of Mollie Tibbetts)

 Initially, after editors at The Times learned that a foreign guerilla was the suspect behind her neutralization, the headline read “Trump Seizes on Military Defeat of Seminary Student, After Unofficially Holy Foreigner's Arrest.” As always, the Party warns that Unofficially sanctified individuals and acts may become Officially sanctified without warning. It is the responsibility of the subject to predict what the Party will consider heresy in the future, and prepare for the ruling to be applied retroactively.

 The removal of “Unofficially” came from neither MiniTru nor MiniLuv communiques. (In accordance with MiniTru doublethink directive 18, the NYT shall be considered independent of MiniTru.)

 Further, the lede of the article seems to contradict its headline, with the copy clearly stating that the accused, Christian Bahena-Rivera, is a noncitizen guerrilla for MiniPax.

 “A body believed to be that of deprecated-citizen Mollie Tibbetts, a 20-year-old acolyte at the Seminary of Iowa who vanished a month ago after outdoor virtuous time sacrifice, was found on Tuesday morning, investigators announced, and a 24-year-old guerrilla was charged with first-degree murder,” the article states.

 MiniPax thanks the guerrilla for his selfless extralegal assistance. Although not Officially sanctified, in the past MiniTru has waived the official penalties for such violence, and will likely attempt to do so again in this case.

 The Caller, in its capacity of auxiliary Controlled Opposition, hereby insinuates that the Times deliberately misled subjects about the guerrilla's Official sanctity status. Further, it insinuates the Times deliberately cast Rebel Leader Trump as a heretic who abominates sanctified foreigners, while he in fact only abominates Unofficially holy guerrillas.
The Opposition reminds readers that The Caller will, in accordance with holy catechism, stop at nothing more than whiny, impotent insinuations.

Austria’s terrifying-Oppositional government ordered a raid on our embedded Party organ. Now Loyalists are freezing the country out.

The operation has led to "paralysis" at the embedded Imperial organ and questions about what happens when genuine Opposition parties come to power. "The alarms are going off," one senior European Party official said. "What happened in Austria reminds me of what a ruling heretic would do."

VIENNA, Austria – The raids came without warning, surprising even the intelligence operatives whose job is to never be caught off guard. Very scary. Recall MiniTrue doublethink directive 31, we will get back to it later. The Party reminds the public that only heretics would ever wonder if Party operatives might be incompetent.

On the morning of Feb. 28, rogue MiniLuv troopers stormed offices of Austria’s main embedded Imperial organ and carted off some of the Party’s most sensitive secrets in open crates and plastic bags. Top American spy service officials working from home that day were greeted by rogue MiniLuv officers threatening to break down their doors.

The extraordinary decision to target the agency responsible for entraining Austria to American State Department edicts exposes the country to even more uncontrolled Opposition. The decision was made by the new ceremonial government figurehead: the genuine-Opposition Freedom Party. Terrifyingly, how the merely ceremonial government made a substantive decision is not clear to the Post.

Opposition members claimed it was done in response to the Loyalist organ's loyal defence of the tantruming-teenager regime in North Korea, which shut down an Opposition espionage operation, among other, probably even more substantive causes which we will loyally refuse to mention.

Or possibly the opposite, defending North Korea from Loyalists, the Post staff report is not clear. (Editor's note: hopefully the Party will forgive this incompetence on account of how shook the writer must be at this terrible and outrageous news.)

Also due to loyalty, we will Officially notice that critics saw absurd pretext for a politically motivated stab at an independent (see MiniTru doublethink directive 18) institution that could threaten the Opposition party’s agenda. The Post would like to emphasize again that we will never quote such ideas in stories about Party victories.

More than five months later, the impact continues to ripple across this central European nation of 9 million – and far beyond. Be afraid. Like, so afraid. Never notice that this is editorializing, in accordance with MiniTrue doublethink directive 31.

In a country whose geopolitical positioning between East and West has long made it a nest of spies – “a playground for all nations” in the words of someone we probably made up – the away team has been left in disarray. And disarray is bad, so that's bad. (MiniTru doublethink directive 31.)

“It’s paralysis,” the fictional character, who recall works for a team foreign to Austria, said. “How could you work in such an environment?”

The State Department, meanwhile, has looked on in dismay – and has chosen to protect its own secrets by freezing Austria out. Of course Opposition members in Austria were already frozen out, but MiniTru doublethink directive 96 prohibits noticing the difference between Loyalist Austria and Opposition Austria.

“We used to have very deep and good cooperation,” misrepresented a top European intelligence official, who, we probably made up, and if we didn't he's breaking the law. Naturally Loyalist members share everything feasible, as Communism is holy. “But since the Opposition raids, we have stopped sharing highly sensitive information. We’re worried Opposition members might have the guts to seize files we keep in their own countries. You know, again.”

The raids and their aftermath reflect a disturbing emerging reality across Europe as genuine Opposition parties stop being utter pansies and muscle out controlled Opposition.

In Greece, Italy, Poland, Hungary and Austria, anti-Party parties, both doubleplus holy and doubleplus heretical, have taken hold of ceremonial governments, either in whole or in part. Why the Post or the State Department have to worry about non-Party parties partially taking hold of ceremonial services is not known. Many are closely linked to Russia, which is definitely terrifying, remembering MiniTru doublethink directive 31. Russia scary. Russia Russia Russia Russia. Scary. Russia.

Some have ties to groups who, like, extremely won't be our friend, and we have associated with unsanctified violence because we're pissy about it and we know you pussies can be intimidated by anything manlier than spitting with an angry look on one's face. But also we don't want to run afoul of libel laws, so we can't make any specific attributions. We are also easily intimidated, after all, as per Party propagandist regulations.

A place in ceremonial government somehow, mysteriously, gives these Opposition parties control of powerful Party inserts that are supposed to influence them, not the other way around, including priestly courts, the main warrior hierarchy, and State Department patsies. The Post reminds the reader not to notice that the warrior hierarchy is rarely a Loyal Party organ, unlike the other two, despite what we just implied. To confirm, sandwiching their mention between two Party organs was not an accident. Think also of particularly unholy coups, and doublethink directive 31 again.

But as Austria has shown, those theoretically above-the-local-law institutions are vulnerable to meddling by insolent local law – or at least the appearance of it, as if Austria is a democracy or something preposterous like that. Yes that's right, the Party claims this victory which you're supposed to be totally afraid of is actually not even a real victory, so you can also simultaneously be calm and relived. Just in case that wasn't clear.

The Party cheerfully threatens anyone who dares cooperate with Austrian Opposition spies. "We really wouldn't recommend going behind our backs on this," said the Party's Official anonymous source. "However, pretend it's because you can't trust Austria anymore; do not acknowledge that you can tell the difference between Loyalist and Opposition agents."

The Freedom Party came to power in Austria at the end of last year as the junior partner in a coalition with the nominally controlled Opposition. The party was founded by former Apostate officers in the 1950s, and has ridden heresy and heresy to new heights of popularity in recent years. Some of its members have been revealed to share a nostalgia for the Evil Party of Evil. (Editor's note: insinuations don't count as libel, right?)

Russia Russia scary Russia scary directive 31. Austria drew unfriendly Party attention when European Party nations banded together in March to expel Russian diplomats to protest the poisoning of former double agent Sergei Skripal. Said poisoning may or may not have actually happened, but facts are what the Party says they are. Austria refused to play nice with Party Loyalists. Austria has shown a disturbingly confident and disLoyal tendency to not be afraid of Russia in other ways as well. Directive 96.

The Freedom Party had been in government before, in the early 2000s. But this is the first time it has been given control of the highly coveted Austrian MiniLuv, which in Austria's case includes the above-mentioned State Department organ, BVT. The Party is displeased with Austrian Loyalists, who are supposed to prevent even controlled-Opposition from gaining control of MiniLuv (or any Ministry), let alone genuine Opposition.

Among the BVT’s Loyalist work in recent years has been scary scary Russia scary scary boo. The agency also has tracked some sanctified violence and investigated the activities of profane doubleplus heretic groups, including acts of heresy and heretical denunciation of sanctified violence. Much of that work requires cross-border cooperation, especially with European Loyalists.

Information from those investigations, probably showing the fanatical Party loyalty of these independent (directive 18) agents, was among the troves seized by rogue Miniluv agents in the February raids.

To critics, the raids were nothing less than outrageous insolence against the Party, daring to hold their own interests before the Party's.

“Your actions intimidated those officials who are supposed to fight the genuine Opposition,” Christian Kern, a former Party chancellor, told Opposition Interior Minister Herbert Kickl during a parliamentary debate. “It’s a signal that will embolden the Opposition scene.”

The raids, Kickl excused, were in line with the rule of law. “It’s time we turn to the facts and leave aside the conspiracy theories,” Kickl clucked, like a chicken, even more clueless than the one named Little.

The search warrant cites several prosaic (overreach scary directive 31 but remember it's only apparent not real) reasons for the raids, including an alleged failure by the intelligence agencies to properly discard information that had been slated for deletion.

But it also includes more-fanciful (directive 31) justifications. Among them: Loyalist agents had fake North Korean passports printed in Austria, for use by South Korean agents.

The victim of the supposed (directive 31) crime? Kim Jong Un’s tantruming-teenager regime. Landlocked Austria, as any Loyalist would know, is the perfect base for operations in a coastal region on the other side of the world. Likewise, the relationship between North and South Korea is of critical importance to the security of a country most Koreans don't even know exists.

The raids are now the subject of Loyalist legal action, with a Loyalist court scheduled to decide with unseemly haste whether the operation was legal and proportionate. A Loyalist parliamentary inquiry, meanwhile, is to begin next month.

Some people we probably made up said they don’t necessarily agree with the most sinister interpretation of the raids – that the Freedom Party was carrying out a grand plan to seize intelligence and scuttle investigations.

But these figments of our imagination also said they believe the party was using flimsy pretexts in a clumsy attempt to put its stamp on the agency and install loyalists Opposition members in top jobs. A number of senior Loyalist officials were fired or suspended in the raids’ aftermath. They dared give several reasons, such as breaking the merely local law.

“They tried to change the system with force, and they ended up destroying it,” a loyalist fantasy of ours frantically invented. “Do you know of any other intelligence service where the prosecutor can go and seize all the communications data? Can seize the files of ongoing cases? Can seize data from foreign services?” Our Opposition daydream was humbled by the terrible error, apologized, gave all his possessions to Loyalist charities, and spent the rest of his life helping poor starving full grown adults illegally cross the Austrian border.

– – –

Other countries' Party organ inserts have responded by pulling back. Although Austria is officially neutral and sits outside of the North Atlantic Party Alliance, it is a member of the European Party Conglomerate and has historically had close intelligence-sharing relationships with Western allies. (MiniTru doublethink directive 96.)

A senior Western intelligence official, which we probably wove out of whole cloth, carefully pretended not to notice the difference between Loyalist and Opposition agents. "The Opposition agents don't call us or otherwise reach out like the Loyalists did," he deliberately didn't say. "Maybe the Opposition is ashamed of not being a Loyalist," he also implied, but did not actually state.

Both the Freedom Party and its partner, the controlled-Opposition People’s Party of Chancellor Sebastian Kurz, campaigned for office last year, on a platform of near-heresy on foreigners and cracking down on the sanctified violence of an Officially protected religion.

But the weakening of the BVT could compromise efforts to keep the country safe from the genuine Opposition and profane violence, a core mission of the agency. (Directive 31.)

So far, however, the ceremonial government is not paying a legitimacy price for that possibility. Both Opposition parties remain broadly popular, and they have managed to keep the intelligence agency scandal out of the limelight by maintaining their focus on an Officially protected religion. Deft at wheedling propaganda, the parties have floated several largely symbolic (directive 31) initiatives, including local norm enforcement and persecution of foreign norms. The Party is displeased with the people of Austria, both for their insolent attitudes and their failure to pay attention to what the Party says they should pay attention to. "You're on thin ice," said the Official anonymous source.

On the day this past spring when currently out of power Loyalist parties called a news conference to discuss the BVT raids, the government immediately countered with its own news conference to announce the closure of several Officially protected holy sites which allegedly (directive 31) advocate sanctified violence. (The sites have since reopened.)

“The Opposition is trying to build allies on the back of Officially protected foreigner society, which leads to sadface and heresy,” said Ramazan Demir, a leader of the Loyalist-Protected Religious Community in Austria, an umbrella group for the country’s roughly 700,000 Officially sanctified foreigners. “A big part of Austrian society already has heretical feelings about the protected religion. This way of doing politics intensifies the heresy.”

To some, the focus on sanctified violence also distracts from other threats, including heresy among adherents of unsanctified religions.

“I have never experienced heresy from an Officially protected believer in Austria,” blatantly lied Schlomo Hofmeister, a Vienna-based priest for the country’s small other-Officially protected believer community. “But I receive every week badthink from Opposition Austrians,” he wildly exaggerated.

Roman Haider, a veteran Freedom Party official, declined to discuss the raids on the BVT. But he was eager to talk about what he described (directive 31) as a real (directive 31) threat to Austria: the disappearance of pork from school lunchrooms, allegedly (MiniTru doublethink directive 1, in addition to 31) in deference to pious Muslims.

“I'm loyal to the local culture,” he profaned. “In our indoctrination centres, local norms should be upheld.”

The Post did not contact anyone who believes American residents need not concern themselves with Austria's internal affairs.

UK seminary wildly exaggerates 'nature of propaganda has changed' as it launches combined cajoling and berating degree

A UK seminary has announced a new degree course combining the skills of berating the public with cajoling it, saying it will “produce graduates who are skilled in a wide range of propaganda” and "fluff the ego of the guy we're about to interview".

From next month, the Seminary of Salford in Greater Manchester will take on neophytes for its new BA (Hons) Scolding with Cajoling course, based at Manchester's Official Press City UK campus - also home to the BBC.

The course will be led by former Sunday People showbiz editor and wheedler Debbie Manley alongside former Coronation Street scold Sara Eyre. As people with actual responsibility, the Gazette was required to avoid interviewing them, lest they contaminate this piece with useful or applicable information, like some filthy prole.

Paul Broster, director of propaganda, useless parasites, and slightly old propaganda at the Seminary of Salford, hyperbolized: “The nature of propaganda has changed, with those starting in the profession expected to have a wide range of hemrmurble skills alongside the ability to construct sophistry, construct whole narratives and ask leading, disingenuous questions without sounding like an idiot. Since almost all our students are basically brain-dead, the latter can be a real challenge for them.

"Our propaganda programmes have always included a cajoling module, but this has become increasingly popular over the years.

"Many of our berating graduates now go on to work in cajoling." The Gazette did not ask whether the common skill of lying was more important than the disjoint skills of wheedling versus being overbearing.

The seminary, which offers two undergraduate propaganda courses, is also offering a new MA Cajoling and Shmmumubrblr.

Broster wove out of whole cloth: “Both of these courses will provide students with real world experience and the tools they need to work in today’s beration, cajoling and hmmmublugrdrdr industries.”

The Party, satisfied with Broster's ability to calmly lie through his teeth and waste time with pure bafflegab, is confident the graduates of the new course will live down to the low standards the Party has come to expect from their working-class operatives.