Social vs. Parasocial

Social relationships should be free and parasocial relationships should be paid.

 

The archetypal parasocial relationship is the retail cashier. You make some polite noises, but the point of the transaction is for money and other goods to change hands efficiently. You don't pretend to be the cashier's friend and they don't pretend to be yours. Maybe you make some small talk, but as soon as stuff is done, you're done; nobody is being deceived about the lack of intimacy, even if the polite noises are uncomfortably friendly.

Parasocial relationships which do not follow the cashier archetype are insane. 

 

In a social relationship, except in extenuating circumstances, money does not change hands. The point is that you both profit from each others' company, so [who exactly is profiting most] is not an issue. Everything is fine as long as it doesn't flip into being an overall loss, and if you're really friends you like the other person and try to make their time better rather than trying to milk the relationship for maximum profit. You try to offer more, rather than trying to work out how to offer less.

If you bring profit, such as money, into a social relationship, it becomes a parasocial relationship. Peace speech turns into trade speech. 

 

Thinking of examples of insane parasocial relationships is an amusing game. 

I will highlight one in particular: Socrates was correct not to take money. The master/student relationship is a social relationship. The apprentice must trust the master, and the master must care for the apprentice, or one will exploit the other. It should be a social relationship, mutually rewarding and monetarily free. If you put money on the table you guarantee it's going to be an exploitative relationship. Option 1) the teacher teaches what the student wants to hear, and thus they feel good and decide it's money well-spent. Option 2) the teacher teaches that the student morally must give the teacher more money; if they don't they're going to hell or going to global warming or going to get a bad job or whatever.

I personally think gifts and donations are fine, but if you genuinely care for your apprentice, naturally you will not fail to show up if they skip a donation. If it hinges on money, the relationship either teacher/victim or cope/seethe, not master/apprentice.