Welkin Tales: Eightfold Pantheon and Snakes of Orn

 Due to the nature of consciousness and due to resonance with Dao, each heaven is ruled by two gods, and there's supposed to be eight lesser gods. The correlation with the periodic table is not a coincidence; the cosmos runs on binary. 

 Let me summarize a dream.

 Kernel farmers were supposed to make their fields snake-free, and Orn would bless their, uh, breakfast cereal. In particular there were yellow snakes representing the goddess of wild animals, and this decree symbolized their opposition. 

 The snakes would generally get all pied piper'd, being lead away from the fields by flying representatives of Orn, to a environmental sink. Using charm was easier than using traps or poison, but regardless the dogma was a snake-free field.

 Later, the gods all quietly started shagging each other in the back. Turns out sex with your cosmic opposite is very exciting, and it's not like proper immortals have to worry about accidentally reproducing wrong. The true doctrines changed, but the gods didn't tell anyone at first. For a while, perception of Ornite doctrine differed greatly from what Orn internally intended. 

  "The poor man thinks he's a pious Ornite," they said, seeing a dimwitted hoemaster gently and reverently stroking the yellow snake in his field. Whoops. 

 Eventually the decree went out, realigning Orn's intentions with the religion's precepts. Metaphorically Orn discovered a recipe for his breakfast cereal that wasn't incompatible with animals. Perhaps it used to get disgustingly soggy in a herder's milk but he came up with a variant that held up. The gods gave up on discipline and became libertine. Held pantheon orgies.

 This doesn't seem to have worked out for them, as Satan ate them all. All eight seats are currently unfilled. 

 Certainly their opposition was excessive. Ornites would shun Artemis et al, even kill Artemites found in their territory. Ornites would judge each other not by how well they farmed, but how little they honoured the herder and hunter. Not on the glory of the harvest, but primarily on how well the field was cleared of snakes. Not on purity of joy, but on purity of fear, defining themselves by what of the Cosmos they rejected, rather than that which they revered. Almost all Ornites in fact worshipped Satan's consort, Phobos, as opposed to worshipping Orn.

 But, uh, Satan tried to eat Phobos too. From what I can see, it worked, but she gave him indigestion. He couldn't fully subsume the essence. Symbolically he tried to purify the Dao, because duh Satanism is about rebelling against Existence. He tried to be a front with no back. 

 Not only did Ornites desperately worship Fear instead of Orn, they couldn't even manage to worship Fear correctly. 

 Ultimately this didn't even work out for Satan. There is now a new lord of this world. However, things are still wrong. Nine seats are unfilled. There is no consort. In a sense, Satan's prayer for a celibate Lord was granted.