The Last Psychiatrist had great difficulty putting his thoughts in plain language. I like that he's difficult to decode, because it's good training, but at some point it's not time to lift heavy things for its own sake, it's time to go get things done.
A narcissist needs to shut up and do what they're told.
"There's only one that's universally effective, I've said it before and no one liked it. This is step 1: fake it.
You'll
say: but this isn't a treatment, this doesn't make a real change in me,
this isn't going to make me less of a narcissist if I'm faking!
All
of those answers are the narcissism talking. All of those answers miss
the point: your treatment isn't for you, it's for everyone else."
https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2010/02/the_other_ego_epidemic.html
They should explicitly ask others for their interests, and then serve those interests, in a literal or blind and dumb way, instead of their own. They should say nothing which doesn't directly contribute to serving another's interests. They can ask for clarification, for example, or inquire if the service could be improved.
Ideally they wouldn't even cook their own food or buy their own clothes, like a child. They are, after all, developmentally arrested in childhood. They would make it worth the while of the person supplying these things by explicitly serving them.
The narcissist will naturally try to twist the requests into somehow being self-serving. It will be a virtue signal or they will get the lion's share of the benefit or whatever. Hence, it must be robotic and strictly rules-based. Folk will often be disappointed because they will wink-wink nudge-nudge and the treated narcissist will deliberately ignore the implication, but over a few repetitions the folk should figure them out and exploit them properly.
Being exploited is the point. They're exploitable anyway, but after treatment, the exploitation is easy and favours the honest, instead of difficult and favouring traitors & defectors.
This is very explicitly not a cure. There is no cure for narcissism, but that's fine; to their horror, the narcissist isn't treated for the narcissist's sake, they are treated for everyone else's sake. This works, therefore it is a treatment.
Note that medicine is poison. If you take vitamin A (cod liver oil) when you don't have a vitamin A deficiency, you will get sick. Ritalin is not good for you, it's just that severe ADD is even worse, so it can be a good trade. Likewise, if you apply the narcissism treatment to someone who isn't sick, they will develop narcissism. E.g. a good Christian isn't supposed to buy chocolates or whatever for themselves. That's "greed" kek. You can't eat the last peach, but you can take the last peach if someone offers it to you. Others are supposed to gift you your needs (and you're not supposed to ask). This norm, and the constellation of related norms, is a recipe for causing narcissism.
Someone who has developed narcissism already can't get their needs met. What they need is to stop hating themselves, but to do that they have to have already stopped hating themselves. What kind of absolute bastard would hate even themselves, after all? It's time to give up and simply direct themselves to the needs of others.
Further note that you can't pair two narcissists. (Reminiscent of the way that gays like men, not other effeminate gays.) The narcissist can't honestly state their needs, so having a narcissist serve another narcissist will fail catastrophically in one of a wide variety of ways. No matter how bad you think it will get, it will be worse.
P.S. If you want to see a narcissist absolutely explode as a result of being seen to be a narcissist, there you go. Naturally almost all predditors are horrible narcissists, so the comments are broadly supportive.
P.P.S. Properly decoded, goddamn LastPsych is good. "People ask: "why do you focus on pop culture?" Because that's all the
culture 300 million Americans ever received for 30+ years."
"The problem wasn't TV, the problem was the absence of adults,
real adults"
It's like, oh yeah, JBP is just another narcissist, isn't he?
Have you read "Sadly, Porn"? You'd like it, I think.
ReplyDelete>It's like, oh yeah, JBP is just another narcissist, isn't he?
ReplyDeleteDammit, is that comment directed directly at me?
(this is a joke)
Thanks for reminding me of TLP, I will go back and read him again.
But really, our entire culture is, as you say, a narcissist creation engine. Narcissists are very easy to manipulate in the sense you can predict what they will do in the very short term.
That reddit post is very funny. One thing I've noticed that is a sort of narcissist tell is "you don't know me" or "you didn't experience it" or "you haven't been a part of this relationship" etc etc.
Indeed it has just occurred to me that the Marxist/ social constructionist concept of "lived experience" is .. just another tool of narcissism. Of course, of course Marxism has these types of tools. Because it's an appeal to narcissists.
I think that the general trick is to trap people in childhood.
It's very easy and attractive to imagine that people only care about you if they serve you like a parent serves a small child.
And so, when people conceptualise the world in this way - a positive relationship is when someone meets all of my demands - and the world, in general, is set up to meet all of their demands, with easy to reach food, porn, social media for easy dopamine... what do we get?
Easy to manipulate and incompetent children. How can a force of narcissists overthrow the government? They can't DO anything.
The same sort of thing with the conceptualisation of love in our culture.
True love requires judgement, yes? You love the future version of someone, their potential, and so when they are not reaching their potential, you judge their actions as unworthy of their potential future self.
A mothers love for an infant is absolute. Never wrong. "I want" "yes my love".
If God loves you like a mother... and which type of God do people like to worship the most? The non judgemental God.
How do people like to invoke Christ-like nature? "Oh he spent time with PROSTITUTES"...
Christ is a redeemer, not an enabler. Good luck getting people to work out the difference though.
Booo my comment disappeared.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reminding me about TLP.
One thing, I never read the comments before. Look at this magic from alone in response to another commenter..
> An ideology is "the body of ideas reflecting the social needs and aspirations of an individual, group, class, or culture." What's important is that you aren't afflicted with narcissism, or born with it-- you choose it because it meets your "social needs."
Of course narcissism is culturally bound. You tell your child to stop being a fucking narcissistic cunt or you don't.
"Oh but then if I do that my child will be sad"
Yes but your child will not be behaving in this way
"I'll be a bad parent"...
You see the obvious trap. Raise a narcissist because a good parent doesn't """"""judge"""""" their children.
Why does our culture hate judgemental god and love (perceived) enabler jesus?
Oh
ReplyDeleteNext question on "is this what a narcissist says"
People who think the world is a simulation. Narcissists? Hahaha
>They watch TV
>TV reflects reality
>They see the world isn't like TV
>Therefore the world isn't real
Hmmmmm.. it holds up!