Aristocracy Playbook: Preventing Colour Revolutions In Three Steps

The term comes from the Communist Red Revolution of 1917, and likewise all colour revolutions are explicitly pro-Fascist. Ironically the name became currency during the anti-Soviet feminine-Fascism revolutions starting in the 80s with the Yellow Revolution and continuing to the prominent Orange Revolution.

Eisen explicitly admits that aristocracy is more popular, and thus concedes he deserves to lose. At once the anti-Eisen regime is both popular but the incumbent is unpopular. Standard Fascism #4: the Plot of the [Eisen] Enemy that is, as convenient, overwhelmingly strong and pathetically weak. An unpopular leader who won the popular vote, who is autocratic but not so autocratic as to shut down protests or the media.

This is dogwhistling, by the way. If you're on-Eisen-side you decode this nonsense into what he really means. Eisen is a Fascist Autocrat. Everyone on-side is an Autocrat. He calls you autocratic because he is autocratic. As an Aristocrat, you are his natural predator. His fears are justified. You could unquestionably think of everything in this playbook yourself, but why bother when I'm willing to do it for you?



Point One: foreign interference is in fact bad, outlaw that shit.

"One of the leading organizers of the Orange Revolution [...] received grants from the [...] Canadian International Development Agency." What business does Canada have in Ukraine? If they're funding a politically-relevant agency, it is criminal. If the law doesn't say it's criminal, change the law to match reality. Strategy: demand all political organizations have open books. If they try to hide the funding, you won't even need a warrant to discover their wrongdoing. With open books, such discovery can even happen by accident.

If Eisen tries to claim his protests aren't political, then it's not a political process to suppress them, now is it? Normal law and order stuff. If someone blocks the road you charge him with obstruction. If he does claim they're political, then you can strip out his funding. His strategy is lose-lose; all you have to avoid is being so pathetic that you lose harder.

Eisen exploits the Homestuck Principle. Someone already in your country wants to do what Eisen wants to happen. All Eisen has to do is find them and fund them. By cutting off this unquestionably corrupt funding stream, you have instantly reduced his force projection by 90%.

In America this is slightly more difficult, since he's not, technically, foreign. However, the same open-books strategy works. If you can trace the money you'll find it's against campaign finance law. If you can't trace the money, remember to forget presumption of innocence, because it doesn't apply to KYC rules. Journalists are experts at avoiding libel law. Eisen will try to label your true accusations as libel, so elegantly hire a journalist to pre-emptively dodge his accusations.

Any politically-useful protest is funded and if that funding is not public, the protest has something to hide. Without this oil well, Eisen can at best have profs offer course credit and other such indirect subsidies. Such tactics fly under the pleb radar, but don't lead to workable protests. You will find that it's not even necessary to win the lawsuits against Eisen. Simply publicizing the allegations regarding the shifty funding will be sufficient to spook everyone who needs to be spooked, which is important when Eisen finds a technically-legal edge case.

On the plus side for America, it fails McFaul's point 7. America lacks sufficient division among the police and military, division necessary to support a proper colour revolution. The only significant division is between the military and Eisen himself, as the military is aware Eisen wasted their lives in Iraq and so on.

Point Two: be democratic for real or not at all.

Vote fraud for your opponent can be used against the process almost as easily as vote fraud for yourself. If Eisen's candidate gets in, then he doesn't pursue the rest of the revolution. If his candidate fails, he can attack the process he himself besmirched. Strategy: don't use a besmirchable process.
Either go all-in on fraud with >90%, or play completely honest. Eisen assures us you're popular; you will win the fair fight.

Use independent verification and tamper-evident seals. (Don't try to make them tamper-proof.) Take inspiration from the banking industry, which has a very strong incentive not to get things wrong.

Some specifics for flavour:
If voting physically, use the tally-stick method, where the voter takes home a matched copy of their vote. If using electronic voting, hash the voter ID and post the hash and vote online, for real-time counts. Keep a public (hashed) register of who has voted and who hasn't. Allow anyone with a suspicious vote, such as a tampered seal, to correct their vote. Use cryptographic signatures to prevent unauthorized vote changed. They can hash their own ID and double-check the vote themselves, so if they are changed, it can be caught. Et cetera. Bonus: anyone going to the polling booth to pick up their voter ID to ensure their vote isn't stolen might as well vote while they're there, so it should increase voter turnout.

Allegedly Democracy is Scientific. Make your vote replicate. Make it fully reviewable by peers. If Eisen tries the process-attack anyway, use accounting at him. Count up the incorrect votes and see if his complaints add up to any difference in outcome. They won't, so offer him the ridicule he has earned. Any cryptographically secured voting system will have error margins below the victory margins, which is all that matters.

If instead you're going full fraud, then be completely unapologetic. Brazenly claim it was all aboveboard and democracy was served, while quietly siccing your secret police on Eisen's operatives. If the plebs complain, pat their back and laugh like it's a joke. It's fine if they know, just don't let it appear openly in the papers. The plebs need to be aware that pointing it out is breaking the rules, but as long as they are aware, even a slap on the wrist is overkill. Put up the online voter registry and then simply refuse to change incorrect votes, as a prank. "We don't change votes because the complaints were fake trolls. We got it right the first time." It's your country: act like you own the place.

Point Three: impeachment institutions are not democratic, so either make them democratic or go full Nork.

Democracies include ways to involuntarily remove an incumbent. This is pointless, because nobody is ever impeached, unless it's part of an attack by Eisen or his copycats. Impeachment processes are cruft and can be pruned. Why does an alleged democracy need a non-vote method of changing leaders? It does not. Strategy: clean off the exploitable cruft. Consider it dirt in which germs and parasites can hide.

If you can't make this argument fly, then again require these processes be as properly democratic as possible. Anyone ought to be able to verify the proceedings. This means making it fully transparent, such as posting a summary on the public internet. This also means simplifying them so even grandma doesn't get lost when checking it herself. The full relevant proceedings should be no more than a page in length, say 400 words max, but shorter if possible. Transparency isn't just a buzzword. It naturally democratizes the process, as the plebs' agents will verify and shout about any funny business. All you need to do is lean on the press if they try to suppress these findings. Eisen will realize he can't tamper with this process without showing his hand, so he won't even try.

Alternatively you are Putin and anyone who applies to these institutions either falls in line or mysteriously disappears. Eisen can try to impeach you as many times as he wants. Make it part of your Sunday routine. Stretch, run, and read the funnies, which include Eisen's latest antic.

If you are going Kim style, and you don't clearly control the impeachment process, seizing it is your first priority.



This document is incomplete. There's only so much effort I'm willing to put into demonstration purposes, after all. However, I have a copy of Eisen's book and in the unlikely event that someone provides me with a suitably motivating incentive, I could complete the counter-strategy set.

I like how being specific reveals existing countries are practically begging to get colour-revolutioned. The systems really are illegitimate. Can Eisen be said to be wyrming his way inside when the armour's chinks are wide enough for buses? Parked sideways?

Colour revolutions are colourful enough to amuse me. Perhaps you as well:

"He added that the Armenian revolution will be peaceful but not have a colour." Special snowflakes.

"The Yox movement chose green as its colour."

"Yeni Fikir deliberately adopted many of the tactics of the Georgian and Ukrainian colour revolution groups, even borrowing the colour orange from the Ukrainian revolution."

"Such 'blue' revolutions are the last thing we need".[12] On 19 April 2005, he further commented: "All these coloured revolutions are pure and simple banditry.""

"During the 2006 protests some called it the "Jeans Revolution" or "Denim Revolution","

"A previous, student-led revolution, the Uprising on 8 August 1988, had similarities to the colour revolutions, but was violently repressed." Colour revolutions don't lose, see.

"A call which first appeared on 17 February 2011 on the Chinese language site Boxun.com in the United States for a "Jasmine revolution" in the People's Republic of China"

"A name hypothesised for such an event was "Grape Revolution" because of the abundance of vineyards in the country; however, such a revolution failed to materialise after the governmental victory in the elections."

"On 25 March 2005, activists wearing yellow scarves held protests in the capital city of Ulaanbaatar,"

"From 2016 to 2017, the candlelight protest"

"leader of the Free Peasants opposition party, has referred to the idea of a peasant revolt or 'Cotton Revolution'."

The other key word is [spring] such as Arab Spring. These aren't colour revolutions, though, since these rebellions were suppressed, and as previously mentioned it doesn't count if they lose.